The Space Between

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Absence makes the heart go wander. It's thought that men fall in love in the spaces in between, and women fall in love while spending time together (it's psychology, I don't make this up). I've found this true in my own relationships - I move on after a relationship and men come right back. I believe I wrote a blog about this very topic when a friend complained about three ex boyfriends trying to get back together with her in one week.

Women need to feel protection and men don't like to feel over mothered or sMOTHERED if you will, which is why this train of thought makes sense. However, while men are sitting away thinking about a girl and their heart grows to care about her, she's busy with someone else wanting to feel loved and protected by a man. It's the truth. And because a woman is a lady, he doesn't always know about the other man. Ladies can multitask just as much as a man can. And this is why a woman will date more than one man.

I once had a suitor that didn't call me for two weeks. We had been seeing each other for a very long time and although we weren't in an exclusive relationship I thought that was an excessive amount of time to not call someone. I immediately asked him to stop all contact with me as he was obviously no longer interested. He was shocked and dismayed at my decision. Now I'm not sure if he had been thinking about me in the space between or even missing me, but my thoughts in the space between had not been pleasant. When men leave spaces, women don't grow fonder. Ladies grow missive, bored, and eventually our hearts do wander: to unpleasantries.

Does a woman need to spend every waking moment with a man? No. An appropriate courting pattern is once or twice a week to spend time together (and a men do not always need to spend money at these occasions), with an exclusive relationship by the end of three months. If a man has not made up his mind at the end of three months, a woman should walk away and spend her time with someone else and allow some "space" for his heart to either miss her or not. If she cannot walk away she is likely to get stepped on and will not receive what she wants and she has not learned to negotiate within relationships. She has a long road ahead of her in relationships.

Ask me how long my longest relationships last over the course of the past three years. I may not be married, but I don't waste time on time wasters. And those men I dropped: Every one is still single, and wasting a lot of other girl's time. Usually 19 years olds.