A Woman's Right To...?

Obama To The Muslim World on Women's rights:

The sixth issue that I want to address is women's rights.

I know there is debate about this issue. I reject the view of some in the West that a woman who chooses to cover her hair is somehow less equal, but I do believe that a woman who is denied an education is denied equality. And it is no coincidence that countries where women are well-educated are far more likely to be prosperous.

Now let me be clear: issues of women's equality are by no means simply an issue for Islam. In Turkey, Pakistan, Bangladesh and Indonesia, we have seen Muslim-majority countries elect a woman to lead. Meanwhile, the struggle for women's equality continues in many aspects of American life, and in countries around the world.

Our daughters can contribute just as much to society as our sons, and our common prosperity will be advanced by allowing all humanity - men and women - to reach their full potential. I do not believe that women must make the same choices as men in order to be equal, and I respect those women who choose to live their lives in traditional roles. But it should be their choice. That is why the United States will partner with any Muslim-majority country to support expanded literacy for girls, and to help young women pursue employment through micro-financing that helps people live their dreams.

Lemme get this straight. The two solutions are READING and LOANS. Of course Obama wants to THROW LOANS AT THE PROBLEM!!!! Let's just throw some more money and let women work where they are often selling their young girls as sex slaves in return for FOOD!

If he were at all in touch with women's issues and Islam, he would know that:

In Saudi Arabia:

1. Some women are educated, most women don't NEED to work because they are so rich from oil money. They're issues are completely different from poorer nations.

2. They are not given rights to choose husbands and are in arranged marriages (sometimes this doesn't seem so bad...especially when you're forever single!)

3. Some women are beaten by their husbands with no recourse to go to the police. It is a husbands right to "punish his wife" if she disobeys him

4. They wear full garb outside the home, and are arrested if they show any skin. Their veils (abayas) are dangerous and it's hard to see moving traffic

5. Wives and daughters can be murdered by the heads of the household, no questions asked - example:

For making out with foreign men, with no sexual relations nor punishment from the government: "Nadia was going to be drowned in her family's swimming pool, by her father on the following morning, Friday, at ten o'clock...her entire family would watch the execution." (Princess, Jean Sasson).

In poorer nations:

1. Female Circumcision: I wrote a paper in High School that won a national award on the subject. It's brutal, unsanitary, and practiced using crude tools. (Mostly in Africa - Ethiopia, Senegal, Somalia)

2. Still subject to arranged marriage

3. Stoning for adultery (Iran, United Emirates, Sudan)

4. Beheaded for prostitution (Pakistan)

There are many issues beyond what I've listed here. Obama has not hit on at all the roots of the problem (well a bit showing that women can contribute)The main reason is that men are valued more than women due to their economic value. They are the breadwinner, they hold the family name, and boys mean the possibility of power. Women are considered the weaker sex from the beginning of time. They feel subject to the temptings of the devil. From that moment on they were the mere carriers of the man's progeny. Rarely in any society have they been equal to men, despite women's rights advocates thrusting the mere idea down our throats. Even in Egypt recent discoveries have shown women in power wore beards to make themselves to be more masculine thus powerful.

Women on one end of the spectrum are virginal and pure and on the other, whores and harlots. To some men they see in black and white, women can only be one or the other, which is a shame. Somewhere in between lies a victorious equal to her counterpart, capable of making wise decisions. Men too have a spectrum. On one end they are a tyrant and despot, the other hand a weak, indecisive failure. He too must find his balance. Neither sex is immune from character flaws. For some reason some cultures overlook the male spectrum and only see the female black and white.

There is a balance for Muslim women where they can rule their home happily, live their religion in peace, and make their husbands proud. Obama needed to show that women could raise smart men and women. That women are the teachers of the home, the examples to their children, and by educating their women, it will advance their children to a more prosperous society. Of course the Muslims will look at our women as poor examples of hippies and whores (they have 'em too!)I suggest they talk to Dr. Laura!

Don't be a douchebag. You are off my friendlist

Background:
Once, I met a guy. There seemed to be some sort of "chemistry" between us. He claimed he'd call. He did two weeks later. He wanted to go out, we never did. Twice. I tend not to hold grudges...long.He saw me at a party...saw what he liked, couldn't have it. I later found out that he was a hardcore partier, a little bit more than my taste, but we could maintain a friendship so whatevs. He was not exactly nice to me and to be honest, I wrote him a very friendly email on facebook accepting his apology for let's just say calling me and wanting to go out...and never calling again.

Our relationship never went anywhere but we maintained a facebook commenting banter that always seemed really funny. That was all. One day he said I was a "more of a man than he'd ever be". Well, I thought it rude calling me a man, however, I saw an opportunity to emasculate and I took it. So I responded, "You're right. My dick is probably bigger than your vagina..." a little more commentary between some of his friends (which i don't recall) which wasn't too bad...and he de-friended me.

Ah. The facebook de-friend. The biggest insult cyber powerplay you could possibly hurl at someone. I never got real closure as to why other than him actually being a vagina. I moved on...I have bigger fish to fry. However, my friend felt like being a web vigilante today and she defriended him...and in doing so they had THIS correspondance. I decided to blog it because I thought it hil-ar-i-ous.

Sunny Seegmiller

Today at 7:08pm

dont be a douchebag. you are off my friend list cause you were mean to my best friend.

JB

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Today at 7:10pm

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huh? How was I mean to your best friend? Who is your best friend? I live in China its hard to be mean to people on the otherside of the world

Sunny Seegmiller

Today at 7:23pm

Bree. u were mean before u went to China. whatever. i dont care or know you at all, but i just felt like calling you out on it...more girls should call guys out on douchey behavior.
just sayin

JB

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Today at 7:36pm

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Maybe more guys should call girls out like Bree for being disgusting and crass. It's not my style and I didn't appreciate it. Thanks for the heads up that we're not friends anymore on facebook

Sunny Seegmiller

Today at 7:46pm

anytime.
ps- more girls should call guys out for being hypocrytical douchebags, expect girls to be perfect nuns whilst they do whatever the hell they want. blame it on UTAH. ug...this is so a waste of my time.

JB

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Today at 7:50pm

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You brought it to the table not me. I would like to know how I was rude to Bree anyway. If you can give me an honest answer. I'll call her right now and apologize

Sunny Seegmiller

Today at 9:10pm

you should call her and apologize. u know why? because she really thought highly of you, and Bree is who she is, she can be crass, and bitchy but if you spend 2 seconds getting to know her, and not tossing her aside like some Provo hairstylist Nit-Wit, you would see an amazing girl. you really hurt her. anyways Im done with all of this. its none of my business, i just love bree.


SUNNY - You are awesome. Seriously...I don't think he's a total douche bag, for the record. I actually think he's totally fun, intelligent, witty, and a great guy to have at a party. I just think that sometimes people hold women to different standards than they hold themselves. Especially when those women are totally funnier than they are. Good thing he's in a place where women are submissive AND have small vaginas...

Yup, I'm crass.

I'll Proposition You...

I'd like to think those who voted NO on CA propositions 1A-1E were the most intelligent, informed, and active voters in the history of California. The low voter turnout almost guarantees that those who came out to vote were angry, part of the grassroots tea party movement, and giving the middle finger to our barely audible Governor (Caleeforneeuh). In fact, the majority of people I know who DID vote are political activists and care more about changing this bloated state government run by unions and lobbyists and are for reform and elimination of waste in this socialist state.

My anger boiled over when I heard a typical out of touch legislator at a press conference claim that these propositions were obviously "too confusing" for the electorate, hence they failed. Clearly what's too confusing is the fact the people want change & are tired of BIG WASTEFUL GOVERNMENT. Tea parties. Elections. Polls. What more do legislators need to see in order to get the message? I think they need to be KICKED OUT OF OFFICE. How's that for a term limit?

"Every generation needs a new revolution," says original libertarian Thomas Jefferson. The next movement needs to be Throw the Incumbent out of Office movement - this is the gradual next step from the tea party movement akin to kicking out King George. We should have had term limits for these vain, power obsessed bureaucrats with their fat bottoms fastened to their seats in Sacramento and lying lips securely kissing the largely bloated asses of the unions in a sickly twisted quid pro quo money power exchange. We need these legislators to agree to boundaries, saying no to special interest groups, and learning to privatize certain jobs in the state where jobs should be shrinking ie LAUSD.

Legislators are afraid of 1,000 nurses striking, yet ignore tens of thousands of tea partyers - the ones that went out and VOTED. The ones that are informed on many issues and the economy. Those nurses cover .001% of the population. At least twelve percent of the private sector is unemployed. Far less state workers are unemployed - it's time the legislators start thinking in REAL votes and about their constituency and not about lobbyists and unions who make a small minority group and end up as an abusive bully power that ends up hurting the entire state. Group think hurts the individual and trumps civil liberties. We must now protect ourselves. REVOLT!

"When the the government fears the people, there is liberty. When the people fears its government, there is tyranny." -Thomas Jefferson

Crowder Crush

Almost anyone who knows me knows that I'm a Cougar waiting to get old so that I can pounce on even younger men. My not-so-secret crush on conservative comedian/youtube celeb Steven Crowder only proves I'm truly a Puma waiting to paw this unsuspecting virile victim.

What makes this young man truly delectable is his maturity, intelligence, and witty brain tacked onto a youthful, muscular body. He's promised that he'll do a naked video (in jest of course as a ridicule to himself) if he gets 10,000 twitter followers by June 12th. If you aren't on twitter you should be. If you aren't following @scrowder, you're seriously behind the times...twitter.com/scrowder. Do it. Now.

The conservative movement needs more pundits like Steven. He's funny, self deprecating, young, bright and even though his vernacular is older than my dead grandmothers, it's endearing. I heart him.

STEVEN IS ON RED EYE (my fave show) on FOX NEWS! 5/14/09 3:00 AM EST 12:00 AM PST. He is a regular guest...

I Should Be A Bureaucrat

I am clearly in the wrong profession. No, I don't want to be a stripper... I want to be a Los Angeles School District bureaucrat. Now, I'm not sure what these bureaucrats do for a living, considering all my teacher friends are macromanaged and design their own teaching plans, however, they make a killing pushing papers all day. The average LAUSD non-teaching employee makes $95,000...Let's see all the possibilities I can be for over $100,000!!!

A web architect makes $107,000 - hmmm, I'm just okay with websites...
An E-mail administrator makes $113,000 - I totally can administer e-mails!
Special Executive to Chief Administrator - $118,000 - GLORIFIED SECRETARY! Totally can-do!
Coordinator - Nurses - $118,000 - Coordinating the nurses? Uhh...lysol, tongue depressors, swine flu, got it?
Recruiter - $106,000: "Hi, would you like a bloated salary and government benefits? You're hired!"

Lower paying yet worth it!
Spanish Translator - 62,000 si!
Carpenter - $55,000 - Jesus quits proselyting and becomes a bureaucrat for the dolla
Workers Comp Claims - $70,000 Like they actually fight claims, ie, data processing...
Diploma Project Advisor - $80,000 I read UCSB reports, figure out grad stuff, coolio
Locksmith - $55,000 Uh...I make keys. Maybe get gum out of locks. Done.


There are over 4,000 admins, swelling 20% from 2001 to 2007 & schools have dropped 6% in occupancy. The dropout rate numbers vary - statistics reported by the district is around 35% although one could argue another report released by UCSB is higher but those numbers are from Charter schools not in the district that hold the districts rejected students. Dropouts cost CA taxpayers $46.4 billion annually. So are these bureaucrats doing anything about the dropout rate or merely adding to the problem? I surmise adding to the problem.

The Daily News has found that the LAUSD is the highest paid bureaucracy in the nation - NY has the largest district and has lower administrative pay. This makes sense - why should these bureaucrats be making far over what the average citizen is making and taking away important dollars that should be going into the classrooms and keeping kids in schools? We are constantly protecting teachers, but the unions seem to only be protecting themselves using children as a shield. Children unfortunately have become a victim in this war against the taxpayers, unintended victims, and the unions and bureaucrats are the instigators waging war and senseless demands against the taxpayers using the state as a weapon.

UCSB is doing more for the study of dropouts than the schoolboard itself. Somehow I think with teamwork you can up some pay of some of the teachers to take on some of the admin assignments and eliminate some of the wasteful jobs. I believe there are these things called "summer breaks" where teachers could probably use some extra cash & do some of the work that the bureaucrats "think" we need. After going through that list of jobs I'm sure we could eliminate a few. Or a thousand.

Hipster Alert

After spending a weekend at Coachella backstage and being tormented by the most manufactured personalities on this planet, the newest website to tickle my fancy is lookatthisfuckinghipster. Sorry for those of you offended by the f-word, but that's the name of the site and there's nothing I can do about it. I think it adds an extra bit of irony since that's a favorite word of the hipster.

Backstage at Coachella one could not distinguish between an artist or a mere wannabe. I stood out like a sore thumb because I tend not to look like a hipster even though I like to listen to new and obscure music, if it's good. I do get offended when a hispter acts like Paul McCartney was some sort of sell out act on the lineup, like the Beatles somehow didn't change or affect rock 'n roll, and they aren't a good band at all. Oh, because your obscure bands are pumping out hit after hit on a regular basis and has such mass appeal amongst every rock critic and person who has ears out there. Do me a favor, try not to be "too cool" for what was the most arguably best band that ever existed amongst the music community. Just admit they were the most important band to ever live and you'll actually give yourself street cred and seem like you know something about music, like, oh I don't know, Lester Bangs and Chuck Klostermann and every other rock critic that wrote for music publications. Yeah, those guys.

However, I digress. Hipsters are really starting to annoy me. I understand counter culture because while at BYU I rejected the idea of forced conformity. Yet hipsters conform to their own counter culture. It's like they try to outdo each other with their own ironic mustache, their use of scarves, or their ridiculous use of neon. How tight can my pants get vs. yours? How obscure can my music get without even liking or listening to it? Taste isn't about being different - it's about being good. And that's what a hispter doesn't get. They're so focused on being set apart from mainstream, they completely miss the target. They all jump onto the same lame band, then once too many have they scatter to the next lame band, even if the lead singer's voice breaks windows. Not all mainstream bands made it to the top because of record labels - some actually got there on hard work and talent.

In my opinion, hipsters are the hippies of our generation. Worthless. They try to use the "hip" derivative to seem forward thinking, but merely are backwards. What good did hippies bring us people? Free love? No - they made us open our minds to new music, and that's all that hispters force us to do, and most of it is CRAP. Reflect.

Other sources to make fun of hipsters:

The Hipster Handbook

Hipster Runoff

F-Hipsters

Diehipster.com

This Guy is Totally Getting Laid Despite Being Bald

I wish someone could say this right to Obama's face.

Daniel Hamman, if you're reading this, you can stay at my house. But not in my bed. That's where Bowie sleeps. Not the rock star, my dog.

Seriously, though, PM Gordon Brown needed a swift ass kicking. I hope he went home, took all the DVD's Obama gave him, and threw them at the wall, angrily. I hope he threw "Psycho" and broke it, and then started watching Grapes of Wrath as a reminder of the Great Depression. Instead, he probably just drank some whisky, put on his kilt, and played a melancholy tune on his bagpipe - one entitled, "O England Motherwhore, Suck on the Tit of this Scotsman".

P.S. Brown is Scottish.

Blame Game

A scathing letter written to AIG CEO Edward Liddy was featured in today's New York Times. The author, Jake DeSantis describes his rags to riches story, rising to the ranks at AIG. He then describes the atmosphere at AIG - those involved in credit swaps which bankrupted the company have left the company, and those who have worked hard, kept the company afloat and worked 12 hour days to earn their deserved bonuses after signing $1 contracts at the beginning of last year, have been tormented by the government and the public. They've been lied to, thrown under the bus, and harassed.

The true story of these AIG execs was never told. Rather than the media or the government asking these questions, the immediate assumption was that these were the greedy bastards that drove the company into despair! This man clearly explains the opposite, that these executives were the ones that turned a profit, worked hard, and were punished for other's misdeeds. The administration knew about it, and then turned on them.

He decides to give his money to charity rather than back to the government. I suppose he was unaware of Obama's decision to cut the charitable contributions write offs. Too bad.

Whether or not this man is liable or not, whether or not public outcry was absurd or deserved, the moral of this story is that a few key players were quick to overreact. For members of Congress to demand death -"But I would suggest the first thing that would make me feel a little bit better toward them if they'd follow the Japanese example and come before the American people and take that deep bow and say, I'm sorry, and then either do one of two things: resign or go commit suicide," - this said by Rep. Senator Charles Grassley.

The whole story was never told. I feel that there is complete and utter manipulation by our government in order to create an outcome. There was knowledge of these bonuses. Geithner and Dodd knew, and it's possible Obama knew when he's not busy sitting courtside at a Wizards/Bulls game (February 27), or in LA on Leno soliciting dinners with Simon Cowell who turned him down. Then again, he probably didn't have knowledge because his NCAA March Madness bracket wasn't finished.

Did Michelle know? No, she was busy hoeing. The garden, silly! She has lettuce and carrots to tend to so that she can keep those gorgeous arms fit and trim!

Rahm Emmanuel...he must have known! Ah yes, he and George Soros sure knew. And they made sure Geithner was there to take the fall. Meanwhile AIG execs continued to receive death threats involving getting strangled with piano wire.

Who's next? Newspapers? Probably, but you're sure to get the whole sob story.

A Brief Respite

Perhaps I took a break for reasons of "staying off the grid". Was it remorse for political disappointment? Annoyance at cyber heckling? A bit of both. But I no longer wish to be silenced by virtual bullies nor do I feel that my blog is a place for those to attack me. It's merely a place for me to share & catalogue a variety of ideas, opines, as well as amazing & interesting things I find while browsing the web.

Once again I shall stand on the stage & let my voice be heard. I warn that many of my rants will be political and less relationship oriented. I just don't have the patience for that which is unimportant. Matters of the heart are important, but not when the world around you is being stolen.

Judgement Day

When a person opens the door to free flow of conversation by stating "I'm not judgmental" I tend to let loose on my personality a little more and perhaps share too much. Especially when that said person begins to rail on the "culture" of the Mormon church, which is assumed for all religions as most get caught up in judging others who don't live up to the strict standards that their religious values should live by. The Pharisees always got caught up in creating new rules in order to strictly follow the old ones. Doctrinally however, this is not the case and we should be kind and loving to all despite their flaws and hypocrisy.

Well, this non-judgmental person also shared his own peccadillo's, that is to say his extramarital affair that led to his divorce, and the playboy lifestyle that he lived before he married his ex-wife. I was not dating this man (my friend was), and although it looked like a government building in China on flag day, I was understanding and tried to get to the "whys" of his behaviors. Is he repentant? Will this behavior occur again? Is he a good person now?

The answer became more clear. When my friend left for the bathroom he began complimenting me and asked for my phone number to "keep in touch". It seemed innocent enough. But then he kept grabbing me, and the wanted the three of us to stay in a hotel that night. I obviously became uncomfortable and understood that this man has not changed and he's an unrepentant adulterer who would still like to practice polygamy (which was later confirmed with his own mouth).

The next night he was just as bad as he rubbed my leg (with his socks and sandals feet - seriously gross - I'm still judgmental about fashion), and all the meanwhile was doting on my friend. His wandering eye continued when we went to a party and all the sudden I understood why his wife couldn't forgive his infidelity - trust was always an issue with this Lothario.

Then came the sucker punch right to my face. He tells my girlfriend although she's really hot, she's not spiritual enough for him. I've had enough of his hypocrisy so I call him out on it, and he tells me that I'm not spiritual and although I know the doctrine really well, I don't feel the spirit.

A Godly rage boiled inside me as I held my tongue, because that's what Jesus would do.

"Are you mad?" He asked.
"No. Just disappointed that you're so typical. A typical Mormon misogynist. Now get out of my house," I responded.

He then writes me an email attempting to apologize. Here's a excerpt:

I just was noticing how you are so intelligent and vibrant that it could lead to a possible hardness of heart though pride (babbles about own spirituality)....The point is I do think you are spiritual. Sorry I was brash.

So this experience led me to question other's perception of my testimony and spirituality. Does my analytical and questioning approach to mysteries of life and the gospel lead others to think I'm some sort of rebel renegade who never feels the spirit or is ignorant of the spirit? Is my testimony in question because I don't follow cultural norms that are dictated by Utah Mormons following the advice of Apostles and not doctrine (which there is very little of) of the church? Do most Mormons even realize what is doctrine and what is culture?

I believe (you can count this as testimony) that intelligence is the glory of God. When you question things and open your eyes and heart to other possibilities and other ways of thinking, you are able to see the point of view of others much more clearly rather than walk around with blinders. Christ was able to feel every one's pain. Did he have blinders on? No. He understands everyone perfectly. He has all information. Because of his knowledge and wisdom he has compassion. With knowledge and wisdom we can gain compassion through the guidance of the Spirit.

As I learn more about the mysteries of religion and life, I learn the importance of love, charity, and unity. I strive for those goals and I do it with the knowledge that we have our free agency and individual choice and that no one can compel anyone else to do anything. That freedom is essential for this gospel to work and man to truly come to God and understand him. Following him in blind obedience is fine for some, but there is a small class of us who want to open our hearts and minds to the possibility that every man is God's creation and is good with potential to make bad choices. We are complex beings with brains that have been developed over millions of years that have given us this capacity to make measured decisions, as well as a family unit that may raise us up, or create our downfall. Our community can also have a huge factor in if we are good or bad people. Was this all by accident? The more I learn, the more I think not.

Knowledge is power. Knowledge can lead to pride, but it can also lead to exaltation.

Bree's Law

A brush with fame is always desired when traveling in remote places that are labeled “paradise”. But how often do we make complete fools of ourselves in front of someone famous? I call this phenom “Bree’s Law” merely because I usually don’t know the famous person, and make an even bigger idiot of myself than usual given the circumstances.

While cruising the Caribbean, our boat approached a quaint French Island known as St. Barths. It’s frequent guests are celebrities and the extremely wealthy. Proof of this would be my purchase of 3 bags of chips, 2 red bull, and a few cans of jelly costing me $76.00. Upon looking at the receipt I noticed the red bull were $7.50 each. I’m sure Angelina and Brad could purchase several orphans in Africa for a case of red bull on St. Barths.

One of our travelers, the vivacious and witty Candice (major competition, I know…), tricked Sunny and Jill into thinking several celebrities were vacaying on the pristine European village, and I supported her little tale with comments about my various readings of Prince William chasing drug smugglers and hanging out on St. Barths. This was a fun game.

The boys caught some fish spearfishing, and we were curious if we could cook it, hopefully saving us $50 at the fish market, so me being the only French-speaking traveler on the boat, I was sent onto the docks to ramble about poisson to various dock people. Grizzled fisherman you would see at a regular wharf? Nay. The typical person did not know if we could eat the fish, and was glamorous looking, typically smoking next to a moped. “Stupide Americanne, with your stupide fish, and your stupide spearfishing gun. Can’t you see I’m trying to smoke my perfect cigarette in privacy? Get off our island.”

I then approach a rather handsome man, pictured left. Jonathan, a 22 year old BYU art student with a charming personality, wanted to approach the laid back smoker. I checked him out. Casual but expensive looking clothes, trendy Ray Bans that Jonathan himself was wearing, and a billow of smoke that somehow lured me into his aura of French mystery and sexiness. Hook, line and sinker….

“Execusez-moi. Est-ce que tu mange cette poisson?” Ah, my embarrassing and simple French that could basically buy me liquor, hookers, and food.
“I speak English. I don’t know if you can eat that fish. I have no idea.” Of course not. He is coy, suave, and I want to have his babies. I try to look into his eyes, but they are blocked by glasses, and cigarette smoke.

Our moment is interrupted by Candice, who is being followed by Sunny and Jill. “Oh my Gosh! Do you know who this is? This is Vincent Perez! He was in Queen Margot, my favorite movie of all time, he’s a French actor!”

I immediately play her game for the sake of the joke on Sunny and Jill. “Oh yes, fabulous film. I love that one.”

“Oh my gosh! You were so great in that movie! You are one of my favorite actors!” Candice lays it on thick. Perfect.

“Thank you,” he says. “Yes, that was a good film. Glad you enjoyed it.” He plays very cool and confused, so I imagine he’s going along with the joke.

“Oh, my favorite part was when you cried like a baby in front of the queen, and then curled up like an infant. Very emasculating, but very powerful.” I said, thinking how funny it was to myself.

“Yes, that was probably one of my best performances. You really liked that scene? I was nominated for a foreign Academy Award for that.” He says. All of the sudden I feel like the jokes on me.

“Bree. He’s a real actor. This isn’t a joke. He’s a very famous French actor,” Candace says seriously.

“Oh, you were joking?” he says to me, as I feel like a major dumbass. “ That role was very important to me.”

He proceeded to invite Candace to Sundance to view his newest film as I wanted to die. I later googled him only to realize Queen Margot is a reference I would not have gotten – Queen of the Damned, I Dreamed of Africa, The Crow – now those are movies I would have recognized. Yeah. He was the leading man in each of them.

So that’s the most recent celebrity joke I played on myself.

Excommunicated...from the Vegan Community

As the San Fransisco Chronicle so aptly stated:

Apparently Californians love animals more than the gays...

So why did Prop 2, which allows freedom for animals to move in cages pass - pushed by vegans and dog owners that think domesticated animals are the same as wild , while "No on Prop 8" failed for the other radical minority group that seems to try and dominate California politics - the gays? My surmise is for the same reason that Obama won - a unification strategy and grassroots efforts.

So vegans, what is Prop 2 going to do for Ca? Eliminate farmers and bring less revenue! Welcome eggs and poultry from Mexico! I am personally friends with a family in Mexico that serves CA a majority of our Strawberries (fine vegan fare), and I'm sure the Mexican economy would gladly round up those scroungy chickens and start breeding their weak genes to send us cheap eggs and meat since we can't discriminate between food and animals. We are about to kill it. Does it matter how much wingspan it has? How cruel! Don't let it use the wings that it has but cannot use anyway because they a. cannot fly physically, and b. will never fly because they are raised for eating.

Now before you all start pressing me hard for being a right winged, animal hating nut job, let me get something straight. I am a reformed vegan. I was once a tofu barbequing, anemic, skinny ass vegan. I type this as I chow into my delicious and vitamin B-12 filled tri-tip sandwich, a nutrient only supplied in MEAT and essential for BRAIN CELL FUNCTION AND DEVELOPMENT.

"Oh, but I take a vitamin or shot that provides me with all the B-12 I need". says the radical, paint throwing, property destroying vegan (I only allow it on annoying Hollywood celebs, then it's funny). Test your urine, vegan. How much of it are you getting? Not to mention calcium, iron, and an assortment of other basic nutrients for brain, bone, and skin functioning. Besides, in order for vitamin B-12 to actually contribute to brain cell function, you must get an abundance from MEAT PRODUCTS. So watch their brains shrink as they age!

What about the treatment of animals? Unlike humans, all animals are not created equally. This is why they eat each other and it's called "the wild". It's part of their primal nature to kill one another over territory, mating rituals, food, and basic instincts to protect their young. Some animals we have tamed and we use as cute furry little pets that we love and adore. These are domestic animals, and we should save and protect them, as we domesticated them for our companionship. Other animals we have raised as food. And we should eat them, just like the mice raised for snakes at the petstore. Where are their rights (Where's the rights for mice campaign?!)? Other animals we have left in the wild to hunt and kill each other, and these animals should be left alone in order to maintain homeostasis in these biocommunities so that rabbits don't become overpopulated, coyotes don't become too populated, and we create a butterfly effect in another community.

Sometimes animals eat us too. I hope they find a vegan for irony's sake.

So why was I vegan back in 2000? I was ahead of the Skinny Bitch trend started 2 years ago. Hormones. I don't like what farmers feed their animals (corn, when they should feed them grass, for instance) and what they inject them with because it's not natural. So I eat meat sparingly. Three times a week to insure proper nutrition. Plus I think I was rejecting the conformity at BYU which was overwhelming. I became vegan, pro-choice, and anti-gun, only to flip flop later. Ah, my early 20's....such a hippie.

Vampire Weekend

Every Sunday I play a new game in Relief Society...

How many Twilight references will occur, direct and non-direct?

This game is extremely difficult for me as I have not read any of the series. But enough women in the culture are obsessed with a band of vampire models that I am pretty sure when the books are being referred to during the meeting.

It's almost scary that these books are being read more than doctrine. I'm ecstatic that women are actually picking up books and interested in reading, as literacy is important (King Benjamin makes this emphasis in Mosiah chapter 2), however, the ease at which sisters are talking about the characters is quite exclusionary, especially since the series is:

A. Designed for pre-teens

B. Fairly new, &

C. Not usually on topic

I must admit I made a rambling, almost off topic comment on Sunday, but I did try to include Biblical stories and references with an attempt to stay on topic. Personal stories are the norm, as the sisters usually follow them with the shedding of tears. Vampire lore is probably taboo as it is a seductive myth - unless maybe referring the lore of Lilith, but only when trying to apply the etymological ties to the Biblical Hebrew in which her name was lost in Isaiah (the 1922 Moffatt translation translates Lilit into vampire) in which she could be the mother of incubus, succubus, and perhaps vampires and we're warned to BEWARE, but really is merely a misogynistic tool to continue to oppress women in Judeo-Christian societies. That's another blog for another day.

I understand perhaps trying to bring in fiction as a unifying tool or figure of relatedness. But isn't that what the Bible is for? It's full of stories and characters all portraying the characteristics of stories, myths, and legends that we can draw upon for references. Do we want a worldly source of fiction for Relief Society? Sure. But can we use good fiction? I guess it's relative...I know that Stephanie Meyer is a BYU grad that a lot of Mormon women relate to and admire, and I can't complain that she's accomplished. I admit haven't read her works to really critique if they're pop-drivel or classics, but I think I'd be more impressed if the sisters started using Desdamona, Juliet, or perhaps Ophelia as female characters to draw literary comparisons to rather than Bella.

Bella. I can assume she's beautiful based on the obvious latin basis of her name. Latin soaps love the character name Bella, so I immediately gather some assumptions from that reference. I heard she fell in love with a vampire and has a low self esteem. Sounds like a watered down version of Sookie Stackhouse. Of course, she's the basis of HBO's totally worldly new vampdrama True Blood, and that's totally not Relief Society chat, but totally my cup of V.

So I guess I'll just play my new game, which is almost cool as my other new game, guess the celeb height. Your first celebs:

1. Anna Paquin of True Blood

2. Kristen Stewart of Twilight the Movie (???)

3. Kevin Bacon

Quote of the Day

"Who would spend $2,000 on a bottle of wine when you can get a perfectly good one for like, $20? I mean, $2,000? You can get like, 8 hookers for that kind of money."

-Rachel

Alienation

I recently had a man pose the question, "Why do certain groups always have to make a big deal about their status - whether it's the gays, the pro-life crazies, the feminists. Why do they have to make it such a big deal?" I thought for a moment. "It's what alienates them. It's what makes them different, so they fight even harder to be equal so they don't feel so apart from the world."

He had a hard time understanding because a feminist is not just a woman. She's a human, who is an American who likes movies, art, books, and has a myriad of characteristics that makes her an individual. But now she's defined by a cause. And this cause alienates her. Everything else makes here a complex, 3-D human, and that connects her to the rest of the human family, but the cause creates a label that alienates her into a minority group.

I hate the singles ward. Not per se the actual institution, but the name itself. It connotes that I am different than every other "regular ward" in the Mormon faith and it begins to define you as a person - "single". When the ideal is marriage and that union is paves the way to salvation, being single alienates a person and starts to become their defining characteristic. I start to look at that box on surveys that says single and it becomes me...

Labeling can be judgmental and shortsighted. I have had a chronic problem with pigeonholing people and groups because it's easy. It's much simpler to put someone into a little box and create a 2-D description of who they are without even knowing them based on a few observations. I know I am stereotyped all the time based on a few things - Mormon. Blond. Outspoken. All these labels lead to unfair judgments that are actually quite wrong. I am hardly a stereotypical Mormon or Blond (well, I have my moments, but who doesn't?). In the Mormon church I tend to ask questions and be outspoken and perhaps seem more intellectual/doctrinal than faith based. Perhaps I read more Sunstone than FARMS. So sue me. This leads to a whole new subset of stereotypes. I also wear tank tops. I don't chastise those who choose to take a different path and welcome those back with open arms who want to come back. I don't care if people drink in front of me because I know that drugs and alcohol do more damage over time and I don't need to do anything but be patient and let a person learn using free agency. I have faith that love, not judgment, will bring them to the light. For this, I'm labeled heretic and possible alcoholic by association.

So in a way, I've pressed the reset button on people I may have thrown into a category based on rumor or misconception. Some people are more complex than others, but we all are made of the same materials. I don't think that the question is: Is man good or evil? Man does good, and man does evil, and no matter who you associate with they are capable of doing both and hurting you or others, some are more prone to it. I think the question is: Am I my brothers keeper? After that, prioritize your brothers because they are still not equal, for we are still human.

Beating the Dead Lifeless Body of Caesar

Politics has overwhelmingly become more popular than the Jonas Brothers and I applaud that the American public is becoming involved in something intellectual rather than skimming the pages of this weeks US weekly. Unfortunately I do not see eye to eye with the rest of the American public. So it goes.

Proposition 8 has clearly monopolized California politics, particularly anyone related to any religious sect. Anyone in a California LDS congregation has been beaten to death with sermons on the importance of the family, God's purpose in gender, etc. Preaching to the choir, preaching to the choir. However, I feel that once again, I should defend my stance on why I am voting for Prop 8, and it's more than just because the Church said so:

If then that friend demand why Brutus rose against Cæsar, this is my answer: Not that I loved Cæsar less, but that I loved Rome more. Had you rather Cæsar were living, and die all slaves, than that Cæsar were dead, to live all free men? As Cæsar loved me, I weep for him; as he was fortunate, I rejoice at it; as he was valiant, I honour him; but, as he was ambitious, I slew him. There is tears for his love; joy for his fortune; honour for his valour; and death for his ambition. Who is here so base that would be a bondman? If any, speak; for him have I offended. Who is here so rude that would not be a Roman? If any, speak; for him have I offended. Who is here so vile that will not love his country?

I love my gay friends, sometimes a little too much. I have a lot of friends who came out of the closet post-BYU who were very uncomfortable during the judgmental climate of BYU, and told me afterward of their homostatus. They are great people. But by voting on Prop 8 do I not love them? Do I not believe in their receiving equal rights?

What are "equal rights"? Had I been born in 1835 I would not be equal to my brother - I could not vote, inherit property from my father, serve on a jury, run for office, etc. Today we are given the notion that men and women, black, white, red, all are given the same rights as long as they are born in this country. However, if a woman gets pregnant by her boyfriend, and she wants to keep the baby and he wants to terminate it, she ultimately gets to decide. Or vice verse, she can terminate the baby without his consent. Where is the father's rights? Where is the fetus' rights? Are we really given equal rights? No. In this case, women's rights trump both the rights of the father and the unborn child.

Equality and liberty have been at odds with each other since the birth of this nation. Not all groups will receive equality - it will always be at the expense of the rights of another group. In this case, it will be at the expense of religious rights. Because of a left wing fringe element in the homosexual community, it is very plausible that churches will be sued for not marrying that charming lesbian couple that swear they're not militant and have no agenda. Or perhaps a church with a great adoption agency will end adoptions because their hand will be forced in "equal" adoption rights to gays - which is against their belief system. The Catholic church no longer adopts children in Massachusetts due to this very dilemma. How many churches will have to end adoption programs in California due to this problem?

I started this explanation with a Shakespeare quote from Brutus' oration in Julius Caesar during the funeral. His defense in the assassination of Caesar is simple - he loved Caesar but he loved Rome more. Caesar was too ambitious, as was the rest of his line which ended after a succession of 12 corrupt and immoral Caesars overthrown by the Christians. They never loved their Empire or their people - they loved themselves and their excesses.

So what do I love? I love freedom. Gays still have the same rights. But I want the first amendment right of freedom of religion not to be trumped by minute faction who are looking for a legal loophole for frivolous lawsuits.

I also truly believe that we should have an ideal - marriage between one man and woman is the ideal. Just like the ideal is having kids when you're married and not getting pregnant out of wedlock and aborting the fetus. Anyone calling that the ideal? Those people still have rights (yeah - roe vs. wade is not getting overturned despite what the democrats want you to believe...we had 8 years of Bush and abortions are still happening). But we don't call that the ideal. The ideal is still what every little 5 year old girl imagines - a wedding with one husband and getting pregnant under that solemn covenant. No one pictures getting preggers by a one night stand or a non-committal guy ante-ceremony with a bun in the oven 20 lbs overweight at the wedding with dad ready to kill the groom with a symbol of his 2nd amendment right.

So, it is not that I did not love my gays, but I love my country, religion, and freedom more.

Hey Baby

As I sit in a pediatrician's waiting room I hear baby names called all day. Today is particularly disturbing. One couple had a baby girl named Kingston. I am utterly confused. First off, Gwen Stafani named her BOY this name, presumably after the capitol of Jamaica. Secondly, this was a latino couple. Perhaps they are those hip Mexicans that listen to Los Amigos Invisiables and wear Buddy Holly rims.

The real travesty was the second child who was named Turtle, I'm guessing after the do-nothing, porn watching, pot smoking freeloader from Entourage. At two I'm sure he's exhibited those qualities warranting the nickname. Ironically his actual name was Mason. A hardworking stone worker contrasted with Turtle...his father donned Fox gear which is the Affliction of yesteryear so this wasn't surprising that his hero worship is a laze and a knave.

I have been thoughtful in naming my future children. Please do the same or you might confuse those familiar with pop culture references and look like a complete idiot. Then again you might not care. But your poor child may. And therapy is expensive.

The Art of Seduction...

Recently a friend asked how to talk to a girl at a club/bar/party without coming off as a player. He's a real straight shooter and didn't want to lie to girls, but his overly aggressive approach has a limited appeal. In other words he needed to get some game but didn't want to seem arrogant.

So boys, here's what most ladies like. The art of foreplay is essential in wooing the heart of a woman. This foreplay is mental. You must get the woman THINKING about you without you forcing yourself on her.

1. A brief glance. Meet her eyes. Don not acknowledge you saw her.
2. Check every few minutes very casually and discreetly to catch her looking at you again. If she does not look, this is a minor setback. Be careful not to stare but you can lock eyes for a few seconds, but disengage. She needs to start wondering...
3. The brush by. Casually walk by. Accidentally touch her but BARELY acknowlede her. She'll be curious as to why you didn't talk...
4. Ten minutes later engage in conversation. Start with something witty about her. Focus on her but not inappropriate. This is your turn to shine. Your introductory comment needs to be non confrontational, observational, and perhaps witty. Nothing too obscure or weird...yet. Do be careful about shoe or fashion comments, Ryan Seacrest. Men tend to focus on physical and easy remarks. Environmental is better - her drink, food choice, the fact she looks cold or its hot, the room is so crowded it's like a media fundraiser event for Obama...the choice is yours.
4. Ask her about why she's there, who she knows, what she does...etc. Keep it safe.
5. Move to interests and hobbies. Keep it about her, but brief...enough to know if you want to take the final step...
6. Ask for the number. If she seems hesitant, you can "apply the neg". This is Applying a quick witted negative comment to procure the number. "You don't want to get a free meal sometime? That's cool...you could probably skip Mortons and stay at home for some Lean Cuisine." Mean? Unfortunately.
6. Call her the next day

The Economy of Coupling

About six months ago I made what seemed like a heretical prediction: people will start getting married at an alarming rate as compared to the last five years. And I don't mean the gays.

My reasoning was this, the economy is driving home prices down. Single males in their mid-late 20's and early 30's now look at $1,000,000 homes and see a $600,000 price tag with analysts predicting that they will drop even further as the mortgage crisis continues and investors and families with eyes bigger than their wallets and paychecks default on their loans. This makes having a family more affordable and thus more appealing. Men will be more likely to consider the possibility of taking on the responsibility of a home and a wife. Although if they know what's good for them, they'd know a wife is an asset, not a responsibility.

Furthermore, as they begin to notice a flailing economy with interest rates rising, unemployment rising, and the political future in upheaval, spending money is not an option, therefore men cannot afford to be players (although, there is no such thing as a Mormon player - unless he's breaking his covenants). It's expensive to wine and dine several women at once and impress her with nice restaurants, tickets to games, and overly expensive dates. Therefore, it becomes essential to get a girlfriend. Once a couple says "in a relationship" expectations for dates lower and they nest - DVD's at home, cooking together, long walks as they discuss...I don't know what other people discuss I'm weird. He probably talks about work and she nods her head and eventually tries not to gossip but does it in a veiled way. Maybe they talk about their families since that is a point of relatedness, especially if they're from Utah. Either way, dates are cheaper when in a relationship, so guys who socially adept will find himself committing not because he found the right woman (although he will have found a suitable companion that fits his requirements of a wife), or because he is deeply in love, but because his light is on based on a financial incentive.

So he's saving some cash, home prices are falling, and now he and his brand new woman (who is cute and capable) are in a position to buy a starter town home on the outskirts of Irvine. Or maybe move back to Utah/Arizona/Idaho where the home prices are REAL cheap. And thus the coupling begins. And you'll see some guys you've never seen settle before getting super cozy now that being a player isn't cheap. His options are sitting at home and budgeting a few dates a month with whatever girls are left over from the massive hoarding that's occuring, or getting a girlfriend who will provide steady companionship, attention, love, and devotion. The choice seems simple to me. But I'm just a person with logic and female parts.

I theorized this awhile ago, but realized my genius when every time I go on facebook I see a heart indicating another one bites the dust...Never before in my life have I seen this many friends pairing up and getting happy. Too bad I'm out of town and can't enjoy God's blessing of a crap economy. Everyone else's social lives are blossoming. My passport is.

How is that for cynical? Timing is everything. Love is merely the product of a flailing economy. Good luck...

Crazy

Santa Claus. The Easter Bunny. The Tooth Fairy. All ploys invented by society to trick children and alter their perceived reality. Organizations are also clever and quick to hide things under the rug so that large masses of people are unaware of what is real. History is often written by the winners. All these shifting facts can lead you at some point to feel as if you are taking crazy pills.

While cruising the Carribbean, our skipper guided us to The Bitter End. That is the name of the resort town at the Northern tip of Gorda in the British Virgin Islands. It became a literal and figurative name as it was the land of desolation - it was deserted. At this point our boat was short on provisions, we had 5 gallons of water left, and an odd assortment of food that had been sitting in a fridge that wasn't working right. We sent a party out to search for any sign of life. After a half hour and the party had not returned, we sent out another party to search for the first party. Our situation was starting to resemble a horror film minus the score with a haunting piano note that repeats itself. We speculated Sunny would be killed by the murderous beast while taking a shower, my demise would be during a sardonic and skeptical remark as climbing into the lower deck looking for Sunny, and that's as far as we got before both parties returned unscathed but without provisions.

At this point all the women suggested we go to Spanish Town, 5 nautical miles south, which is about an hour. It was not desolate, and we could go get food, water, shower, etc. Two people also desperately needed to get to the pharmacy. The men, however, unwilling to admit their mistake, would not relent and asserted that we camp in the middle of the harbor with hardly any provisions. They would not admit the truth. They would rather admit that Santa and the Easter Bunny were alive and kicking, having an adulterous affair and making love children, than admit that they sailed us to The Bitter End.

So, I bitched. That's what I do really well, so I began a logical argument as to why it made much more sense for us to go back to Spanish Town. I was told to be positive and stop talking about it, pretend that we weren't out of water, food, and in the middle of nowhere. Do you drive to a parking lot of an empty warehouse and hang out when you need to go to the grocery store? No. This made no logical sense.

The next day the decision really bit everyone in the ass, and had we done it the way a few of the "crazy" women suggested, we would have not run into some other troubles. I won't get to that. The point is - why do we choose to not look at reality and alter it, why do we engage in crazy making?

We have all dated that one person who loves drama. They are a crazy maker. If the sky is blue, they insist it's red. If the grass is green, s/he says it's blue. This person loves to alter reality, and perhaps in his/her mind it's part of a brainwashing technique to gain control of a relationship. I have had that relationship where I was lead to feeling completely psycho. I started doing crazy things and I thought I was mad.

At some point, however, I gained my sanity back and realized that I wasn't the one that was crazy. He was the one that wasn't normal. Other people confirmed that my reality was correct, he manipulated my reality. I had to get rid of him. In fact, I now have to get rid of all these crazy makers, because a lot of them exist in this world - they refuse to see reality for what it is and believe in a warped version of their own reality, whether through rose colored or black lens glasses.

So how do you cope with crazy makers?
1. Don't vote for them (although I believe all politicians are crazy makers)
2. Don't lie to others whom you are close with about your life and condition
3. Do eliminate crazy makers from your life

Perhaps this is a bit of a bizarre blog, it's something I've been pondering and I'm hoping for a few comments to discuss the idea of crazy making.